As I continue to work with staff, and listen to their concerns about working with children who seem to not care, I see so clearly the importance of conversations. Just keep talking. There is so much the children do not know. This is true of regular children, but more so for children that have been moved from place to place, and perhaps didn't get the parenting they should have gotten when they were infants.
A staff expressed frustration with a child who announced, "You are not my family, I don't have to listen to you". Then 2 days later the same child declared, "This is my family, this is where I want to be, where I feel comfortable," There is no frustration here. There is simply a child giving information about how confused she feels. We have to talk to the children, talk about how normal it is to feel confused about where they should want to live, and who they should want to live with. No child wants to give up on their own family. It is similar to divorce - no child knows who they should give allegiance to. They shouldn't have to.
We can make it easier for them by simply listening without judging, but with empathy for their situation, and with the gift of knowledge.
