Honoring the graduates

Tonight we had our monthly foster family training/ support group, and during that meeting we honored our high school graduates.  It is really a big deal when the children strive for something and achieve what they have worked for.
The truth is, we like to celebrate, period.  Whenever a child improves behavior and gets to move to a permanent family, (whether it be natural family, foster family, guardianship or adoption), we have a congratulations party.  When one of our employees, or one of our older girls become pregnant, we welcome that baby with a shower.
We have the best parties ever, whether it is our kickball tournament, our 4th of July party, our Christmas party, we love to make memories.  Foster care could be viewed as sad, difficult, and other negative thoughts.  We choose to believe that whenever it is necessary we will step up, make the best of the time together, and make good memories.

One positive influence

Author and psychologist Alice Miller has said that if an abused child has one good influence in their life it will make a difference.  Part of the importance of foster care is that there would be that good influence, that caring person who would be there for a child.
To us, at Atkinson Family Services, we see ourselves as here to serve, here to use our training, education, good will, sense of humor, and opportunity to be that good influence.
Do you see yourself as someone who could be that one good influence?  We would like to talk to you, to at least introduce you to what we do, and how you could help.

To, For, With

Jim, our son Jay, our daughter Geneva (with Jeremy), and I went to Colorado to celebrate our daughter Jill's 50th birthday.  It was a wonderful time and we had such a good time meeting Jill and Oskars' friends.

I was reminded of all the many trips we took the kids on through the years.  There are 3 behaviors you can do with your children.

1.  To - that is the things you do to them.  Although some of those things are positive, such as kisses on a boo-boo, many are negative, such as punishment.

2.  For - those things your children did or could have done, but you did over or did for them because you didn't think they could have done well enough.

3.  With - those things you did with your children such as vacations, homework projects, games, play times, and silly stuff.

WHICH ONE MAKES THE MEMORIES?

Our children would say, hands down, WITH.

Who is to blame?

We talked in our sexual abuse class tonight about who is to blame.  We talked about the fact that the only reason to even use the blame word is to assure the sexually abused person that it was never their fault.
For some victims when the perpetrator receives a punishment,  it helps put closure on the incidents, for some it helps assure them it really wasn't their fault, but for most it is just the beginning of a long struggle for recovery.
I was so pleased that victim witness laws were enacted so that there was financial help for victims so that they could get the therapy they would need to aid in recovery.
Recovery is a very personal, very difficult road, and at Atkinson Family Services we work very hard to make sure our staff are knowledgeable and prepared to aid children on this road.

Sexual abuse 4

Sorry, I had a rough week so I didn't get to my favorite - blogging.  During this time I have been visiting with several adults who were sexually abused as children.  Their confusions can be put in several questions:
1.  Why didn't my mother protect me?
2.  Why did my mother deny my abuse?
3.  Why do I keep on getting abused?
4.  If God is a good God why did He allow my abuse?
Here is what I want to cover.  Today.  What I can say about the past is that it was NEVER YOUR FAULT.  Today is your choice, and we can help you with that.  Please use therapy for your questions about your past.  It does need to be addressed; however, we are equipped to handle today, and one day at a time.  The question about God I would like to answer from the prospective of today, and also from my own experience.