In our in-service this week the staff was talking about how the house parent gets the children calmed down so easily. The question was, "What is she saying when she is calming them down?" Here are some of the things she says: "Is the behavior you are choosing going to help you feel better?" "If you never change what you are doing, will things ever get better for you?" " What were you trying to get when you chose that behavior?"
When one of the girls was particularly confrontational with her, she asked, "What's my job?" The answer was, "Safety, helping me with my program, helping me learn good choices." "So", she said, "Can I help you with these things if you argue with me when I am doing my job?" The child stopped swearing and worked with the house parent.
We had a discussion about asking the questions, and how calming they are, and how they set the scene for a safe and respectful environment. It was a great learning moment for all. The lesson is, don"t give up, keep practicing.
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