House RulesI

We have very simple rules.  In fact, there are only three:
1.  Safety - Is your behavioral choice safe for yourself and others?
2.  Respect-Is your behavioral choice respectful of your needs as well as the needs of others?
3.  Do your job - whatever is the job-at-hand.  For example, if you are in school your job is to do your schoolwork, if you are at home, your job is to do whatever chore you have agreed upon as a part of a family.
We meet as a group - where ever we, are such as classroom at school, group home family or foster family.  We also use the same format in our office, and in all the entities of Atkinson Family Services.
Each classroom, family, group home, or office group meets together and decides what the specific description of each of the three rules will be.  Then, when someone breaks a rule, we consider it a mistake, just a problem,  and require them to fix the problem.
We have an autistic, mentally handicapped granddaughter.  When she was a child she went to our school, and was raised in a choice theory atmosphere.  She often had bouts of violence, and at the end evaluated and found a way to solve the problem.  With such a handicap as she has, it is hard to believe she can identify her mistakes, solve them, and learn from them.  One time she threw her desk.  When asked what rule she broke, she thoughtfully answered, "Well first, I broke the safety rule because throwing things is not safe for anyone."  She thought for a minute more and added, "I broke the respect rule for sure because I used up everyone's time with my fit and that was not respectful to anyone, even me."  Again she thought, and said, "I also broke the 'do your job' rule because I sure couldn't do my work.
Try using three rules, and talk, talk, talk to your family to define how they will work in your family.