When our own two children were teenagers, many people wanted to know how the foster experience was for them. Jim and I had to be gone for several weeks for meetings. When we came back and things were back to normal (well, normal for us), Jill came in to talk to me. "Jay and I were wondering what would happen if you and Dad both died." "Well", I answered, "We have a will and we have talked with our family and we have a plan for you, and you will not have to worry because everything will be taken care of," 'That's not what we wanted to know", she said. " We don't care about the stuff. We wanted to know what will happen to the kids. You have to have a will that says we can keep the kids."
That answered the question for us. The experience was great and difficult. Jay has Muscular Dystrophy, and he experienced several handicap children work with their disabilities. He works for the Department of Corrections. Jill became a psychologist, a natural position for her because she was always so good with the children.
Did they live through some difficult children? Yes! Jay was bullied by an older client, and Jill had to live with girls that wished they had her position. As diligent as we were about problem solving, we just didn't cover all the bases.
Before any parent chooses to become foster parents, it is important to count the cost to their own family.
I welcome comments and questions.
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