Two concepts that are not really part of Choice Theory, but are very helpful concepts in raising children. These thoughts are from our Deputy Director, Cesar Castaneda, He talks about the importance of understanding when it is our job to protect children, and when it is our job to prepare our children. This is an especially difficult and confusing concept when the children are missing basic safety concepts that are usually taught when they are very small children. Part of working with foster children is understanding which phase each child needs.
The second concept is to understand and teach the difference between what is just and what is fair. Usually when children complain that you're "Not being fair", what they really mean is that you are not treating everyone equal. If you let a 17 year old go to the movies with a friend, but not a 10 year old, the 10 year old will complain about fairness.
Now is the time when you have to know the difference between prepare and protect, and fair and just. Now is also the time when you will be glad for teaching the difference to your children, or know it is time to begin teaching your children.
One last story for the day: "Back in the day", when we had 12 children, ranging in age from 7 to 17, I had a particularly trying day with way too many complaints about me not being "fair". We live in Sacramento, CA. The state fair grounds, called Cal Expo, are here. I packed all 12 kids in the van and drove to Cal Expo, and told them to get out. Looking confused, they did. I rolled down the window and said, "This is the Fair", "This is the only place where you will find fair, so when you have had enough fair, call me and I will come pick you up." They looked at each other. Some said, "Is she nuts?" Others said, "Can she do this?"
To this day if someone mentions "Fair", everyone says, "Watch out or she will take you to Cal Expo"!
No comments:
Post a Comment